What Trauma Really Is—and Why We Need to Talk About It More Thoughtfully
Lately, it seems like the word trauma is everywhere. It's used to describe everything from a bad breakup to watching a scary movie, or even a rough day at work. And while it’s good that we’re talking more openly about mental health, it’s also important that we talk about trauma accurately and with care—because real trauma deeply affects the brain, body, and emotional well-being.
So, what is trauma, really?
Trauma isn't just about what happens to us—it’s about how our nervous system processes the event. Trauma occurs when we experience something overwhelming that exceeds our ability to cope. This could be a single event like an accident or assault, or something more prolonged, like emotional neglect, abuse, or chronic stress during childhood.
According to the American Psychological Association, trauma is defined as "an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster." But there’s also what’s known as complex trauma—the result of repeated, long-term exposure to distressing events, especially during development.
How trauma impacts your brain and body
Here’s what the research says:
Trauma can rewire the brain, especially in areas like the amygdala (fear center), hippocampus (memory), and prefrontal cortex (decision making).
Chronic trauma may lead to a dysregulated nervous system, where the brain gets stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn modes—even when there’s no current threat.
It can increase the risk of anxiety, depression, PTSD, and even physical health issues like chronic pain or autoimmune conditions.
That’s why trauma isn’t just “in your head”—it’s in your whole system.
Why calling everything “trauma” can be unhelpful
There’s a difference between something being upsetting, stressful, or painful—and it being traumatic. When we label everyday stressors as “trauma,” we run the risk of:
Minimizing the experiences of those who have endured real, life-altering trauma
Confusing our own emotional processing by mislabeling what we’re feeling
Turning normal emotional pain into pathology (which can actually make healing harder)
That doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid. Feeling hurt, rejected, or overwhelmed doesn’t have to rise to the level of trauma to matter. Your experience still deserves support and space.
How to know if you’ve experienced trauma
If you’re wondering whether your experiences may have been traumatic, consider these questions:
Do you experience flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive thoughts about past events?
Do you have intense emotional or physical reactions to reminders of the past?
Do you avoid certain people, places, or situations because they feel unsafe—even when logically, they’re not?
Do you feel emotionally numb, disconnected, or like your reactions don’t match the moment?
These are just a few of the signs that trauma may be affecting your nervous system and daily life.
What trauma-informed therapy can help with
Healing from trauma isn’t about “just talking about it.” It involves helping your nervous system learn to feel safe again. At Mindfully Me MHC, we use approaches that are gentle, body-aware, and grounded in evidence-based care. Whether that’s through Brainspotting, parts work, or learning how to befriend your body again—we’ll move at your pace.
And whether or not you’ve experienced trauma in the clinical sense, therapy can help you understand your past, feel more grounded in the present, and move toward a more connected and peaceful life.
If you’re looking for trauma-informed therapy in New York, New Jersey, or Florida, we’d love to support you. Schedule a free consultation or reach out with any questions. Healing is possible—and you don’t have to do it alone.